Hear Ye, Hear Ye:

I’ve been getting many a request from my fellow Betwixters to write guest spots. In the sage words of a generational classic, “Bring It”.

Please welcome my first guest, Margo, age 23, research assistant, renown fro yo connoisseur, and shoe aficionado. If you’d like to follow in her well-heeled footsteps, email me, darrah@thebetwixter.com.

Accidental Date, by Margo

Are men capable of liking women as friends?

This week I attended my third accidental date.  A coworker with whom I banter regularly casually suggested drinks via our hilarious email exchange over a shared pastime.  I accepted the invitation. Why not? He wasn’t hitting on me. In fact, I was fairly certain he was gay and confirmed with an expert in the field of gay-dar, my favorite gay coworker. If he called it, it was true.

One hour and two drinks into the non-date-date, I discovered that I had profoundly misjudged the situation.  This was a date.  And he was not gay.  And this was not the first time I had made the mistake of agreeing to dinner or drinks under the assumption that the aske-ee was sincerely interested in catching up with me.   Apparently, I am naive.

I have often found myself the victim of flirting-ambush, (the situation where you innocently continue along the path of good conversation when suddenly you find yourself trying to make references to your “boyfriend” whether he exists or not, or eyeing your friends out of desperation to please not let this boy buy you another drink), in fact, we’ve all been there. The question is what are we missing?

I consider myself relatively self aware. And I am flattered when I am hit on, when I know it’s happening.  I am bewildered by my inability to decipher the difference between genuine interest and romantic intent.  My conclusion: blame the men. Be more obvious. Feigning interest in my potential dissertation topic will not make me think you like me. It makes me think we share nerdy interests.