It’s Called Being Resourceful, People!

It’s my belief that everyone could use a personal assistant.  It’s also my belief that if you want things in life, there are only so many hours in the day, so it’s imperative to be resourceful and delegate.  I thank the genetic gods for gifting me with a personal assistant from day zero during our time together in the womb.

Most of you don’t have a twin, but if you have a sibling (or other such easy prey), here are my fool-proof steps to making them your trusty assistant:  (All of the following examples are true.)

Step 1: Ask politely for his/her help for small things, only from time-to-time.  This is the grooming process.

ex: “I’m driving and need the phone number for the restaurant I’m heading to.  Can you please look it up for me?”

Step 2: After increasing the frequency of step 1 with no push back, start asking for some more time-consuming help.

ex: “I’m in the market for a new hair straightener.  Can you do me a favor and check amazon and ebay, and send the links to what you think I should buy?”

Step 3: Still sensing little to no push back, begin texting or emailing short lists of things with which you need help, or just tasks that are more time consuming.

ex: “Please research how many elementary aged kids live in the US.  Then, tell me how many of those are middle and upper class.  Finally, how many kids in that demographic are there globally?”

Step 4: If Step 3 was a success, you’re golden.  You officially have someone at your beck-and-call to help you in the pursuit of your life’s goals.  Feel free to start barking commands at him/her as they’re hooked.

ex: “When is my cold caller starting? Have you written their script?  What is their hourly rate? Here’s their list of people to contact.”

So, now that all my readers think I’m a terrible person, I should interject that I’m only kidding about you all forcing your loved ones into unpaid labor positions for you, but I can say that all of the above is true and has worked for me.  I fear that once my brother reads this, it might be another story.  But, until then, I need to go ask him to do some more things for me.  Maybe he can ghost-write some blog posts…

2 Comments

  1. Good advice, but I fear it will be to your detriment once Garrett reads this…

  2. Hair straightener?! No! You have beautiful hair. Dying to know if PA, I mean twin brother, does too.

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