My Petition to Be Simon’s Replacement on “Idol”

Word on the street is that Simon is leaving American Idol. New word on the street is that I want his seat at the judge’s table.

If Paula could be on there, drugged up and questionably coherent, for as many years as she was, and if Ellen (don’t get me wrong, I love her) who is a self-proclaimed ‘music lover’ (not expert), then I want to fill Simon’s seat. Sitting on my couch tonight, catching up on last night’s women’s top 12 performances, I swear to you all I would say, almost verbatim, the commentary that one of the judges would say after the performance.  My roommate (vouch for me here, Ben), can attest to this fact.  Whether it was about their vocals, appearance, or a combination of the two, I was spot on. Better yet, for those of you who know me, for better or for worse, I’m nothing if not honest.  And that’s precisely what this show will miss when Simon departs.

So, to my dear 700 or so readers, we’re no 90 million Idol watchers, but I say we begin a movement to get me on the show.  As much as I hate to be in front of any cameras, someone needs to get in there and lay the verbal smack-down. At the very least, I’d like to petition to be the wardrobe consultant.  Did anyone see some of those horrific ensembles? With a budget like they have form Coke and Ford, you’d think they could buy a mirror or two.

1 Comment

  1. i think that they have to wear their own clothes until the top 10. that’s according to my television expert mother. as for your judging, i’m all for it since i think i am going to just go ahead and be next year’s idol.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

Archives