Why Straight Men Should Hang Out at Gay Bars

I have a theory that the best place to pick up a straight girl is at a gay bar.  Why, you ask?  It’s simple:

You’re a single guy at a typical local hangout and you’re up against every other guy there.  Girls standing in groups already give you a huge hurdle over which to leap to even get in a first word.  How do you make an initial approach? Do you have enough wing-men to handle all of her judgmental friends, sizing you up and oftentimes pulling at her hand to remove her from your vicinity.  Sound familiar?

Enter my plan:

As a relatively attractive single 20-something, I’ve been known to frequent many a gay bar with my best friends who also happen to be gay men.  I’ve been going since I was legal and can’t remember a night when there weren’t other single girls there, all well put together and good looking (let’s be honest, gays are selective), all with their guards down.

You straight men are probably thinking, “Absolutely not! I’m likely to be thought gay by the men and/or women, neither of which helps my situation.” WRONG.

I’ve encountered a straight man there from time to time, out with his straight girl and/or gay guy friends, and I was so taken aback by the clear sense of confidence one must have to embark on such a foreign bar.  To me, this reads, “I’m not worried about what other people think about me, I’m just here to have a good time. ” And to me that translates, “Maybe I should chat this guy up.”

Take it from me, one often called a “fruit fly” (updated version of the haggard term ‘fag hag”), this is akin to the Home Depot for women: a plenitude of the opposite sex abounds, walls down, and already in their element.  Ripe for the picking, boys, ripe for the picking.

(For any of you in the Atlanta area, here’s your best bet: Blake’s on the Park.)


  1. : )

  2. Ian, do you work at blakes??? Are you the tall, sexy, bartender with the gorgeous smile! And tatted sleeve down his arm??…

    Ps. The article is true!!!.. I am a str8 female and I LOVE going to gay bars bc it makes me feel comfortable and relieved I don’t have some guy grabbing me to talk every time I walk by!… Trust me if a lady is interested she will let the guy know! Lol…
    ; )

  3. Thanks for joining the discussion, SaxMan! I think you make a great point about getting a little perspective on how girls feel when they’re being fondled and groped by men at bars. Maybe some more guys can step into those shoes, too!

  4. Ironically, I’ve been to Blake’s before. I’m a single 20-something straight guy. The first time I went there, I was meeting another young lady which turned out to be a great place to meet up. While there are a few single straight women present most every weekend, you have to go in Blake’s with a shield and sword to fight off all the grabbing that the guys perform as they get boozed. I now see where women have that complaint about men’s roaming hands! 🙂 If you’re an attractive guy, I can say with experience that your work is cut out for you. You’ll have to convince the young lady that you’re really at a gay club to pick up women and you’ll have to fight off all the guys wanting to get with you. Fun! lol

  5. Fair Betwixter,
    Duly withdrawn- you were absolutely right. I will keep you posted… further research will certainly be forthcoming.


  6. Thanks for your thoughtful response, Ian. On some fronts I agree entirely- such as that women go to gay bars as a respite from “males out trolling for poon”. But, where a nice straight man serves a chance is when he is himself and can catch a woman at a gay bar off-guards, oftentimes as a refreshing surprise. Let’s be honest: women always want to be pleasantly caught off-guard when it comes to meeting a guy.

    As far as gay bars being sexually charged, I don’t think it’s fair to say that across the board it’s any different than a straight bar, it just oftentimes is more blatant at a gay one. That and the fact that from my experiences, most gay men are considerate towards a straight male visitor, not interested in making him uncomfortable or hitting on him.

    Please do let me know how your experiment goes, but be sure you’re being genuine, not spitting silly lines and whatnot, as regardless of the venue, those are likely to get you blown off.

  7. As a straight veteran of Atlanta’s gay scene, I’m inclined to disagree. Gay bars present a sexually charged atmosphere- that’s for damn sure- but they also offer women a welcome respite from the usual droves of straight Atlanta males out trolling for poon on a Thursday night. And therein lies the appeal, or so say my female guests.

    While there are often a handful of straight girls at gay bars, they’re rarely “ripe for the picking.” Rather, they’ve come to enjoy strong drinks and have a blast with their (for the most part male) friends.

    Sure, Bone’s serves up a delicious tuna tartare, but when a boy wants raw fish, he goes to MF. The seafood options at Bone’s, though appealing, are far too limited.

    Nevertheless, fair Betwixter, I’ll give it a shot… In the name of science!

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