He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Get out your daisies ladies.  Pluck one leaf: He loves me.  Pluck next leaf: He loves me not.  While this antiquated practice may have fallen by the wayside thanks to technology and our ability to run these thoughts by friends rather than the garden, the thought process itself hasn’t changed.

Enter phrase: “He’s just not that into you.”

This sentence became quite famous at the publication of the book by the same namesake, followed by a popular film release.  Everyone probably has his/her own opinions on the candor of this male author who tells women to let it go in most instances when we dance around the question, ‘does he like me?’.

More often than not, I’m a huge proponent of telling it like it is, so I’m on board with this sort of shock therapy.  I’m fortunate enough to have a couple (remaining) straight male friends who will quickly rip the band aid for me and tell me their diagnosis as to whether or not the feelings seem mutual.

Not too long ago, one such male friend said, “This guy is either confused or playing you.  Ditch him.”

The harsh reality of what he had to say was a bit shocking, like stepping foot into a icy cold pool.  But just like with the water, my body got used to it and warmed up to it.

He was right.  Even if this guy was slightly interested, why was I letting him make me question myself and stress?  I took my friend’s advice and stopped talking to him.

Not everyone may be interested in such candor, but I do recommend getting someone of the opposite sex (if that’s what you’re into) to be a trusted sounding board for you.  Maybe don’t go to your girlfriends (or guy friends if you’re a dude)  to agonize over every text, BBM, and facebook update, but rather, turn to your trusted opposite sex friend to get it straight.

There are too many important other things in life to worry ourselves about that don’t include someone who’s not giving you the time and attention you deserve.  Reallocate that time you would have spent spinning your wheels onto finding a buddy to be real with you.  Let’s leave the poor daisies as well as our poor girlfriends out of it for once, and just cut it off at the source and ask our guy friends.


  1. Well said, Linds, although I hope there’s not too much vodka being had seeing as how you’re with child 🙂

  2. One of my “favorites” if you can call it that was one I read in a book a few years prior to HJNTIY and have recited to myself quite a few times over the years.
    “If he wanted to call, he’d call.” Hard hitting, but if you know me, most of the time at least, I like both my truth and my vodka served straight up.

  3. BBM= Blackberry Messenger (in this case, at least)

  4. Doesn’t BBM mean big black man? or busty black male or something like that?

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