New Year, Same You

I think resolutions are bullshit.

For those of you who are skimming,  I said BULLSHIT!

If you made a resolution last year and remember it, that’s an accomplishment in and of itself.  If you actually followed through on it, I might call you a liar.  I bet the odds are not all that different from being a lottery winner.

In the sage words of Ray J (yea, I’ve caught a couple minutes of that terrible show), let’s keep it one hundred…

I dislike resolutions because when you have to wait until January 1st to proclaim your agenda and set it into motion, how genuine is your ‘resolve’ to do it?  Why didn’t you come to this conclusion Nov 27th?  Or January 4th?  I get the premise of a “New Year, New You”, fresh start kinda deal, but I just don’t buy it.

As an avid goal-setter, I think there is a huge difference between a resolution and a goal.  A resolution is a want or dream with no plan of action.  A goal is also a dream, but paired with strategy.  Goals get written down, which in and of itself holds power by making it real.  To really put the right foot forward, goals should get broken down into bite-sized pieces so they’re attainable and no longer overwhelming.

Example from real life:

You want to discover a new career path.  Daunting, no?  Doesn’t have to be.  This can be broken down into actions:

-Decide what I want my day-t0-day life to look like including my work environment, style of dress, commute, minimum pay/benefits requirements, travel schedule, etc.

-What are my skills, strengths, and weaknesses, and how do I want to use them?

-Who do I know in my network that can help me?  Set up time on the phone or over coffee with 2 people each week. (Hint: People love to help other people when you give them the opportunity, so ask!).

I could keep going, but you get the point.  If you want to be a real superstar, put these to do’s in your calendar with a deadline in mind.  Before you know it, your ‘daunting’ goal is achieved.

If you genuinely want something in 2010 (a new Mercedes, a significant other, a healthier lifestyle, to read a book), what’s stopping you?  Whatever 2009 was like for you, take the innitiative to make 2010 a year of intention.  Stop letting life happen to you.  If Tiger could have the golf career he had while simultaneously juggling endorsements, appearances, a family, and god knows how many mistresses, I think you can get to the gym twice a week 🙂

Happy New Year Betwixters.


  1. Well said, Kathleen. Spoken like someone who knows a thing or two about mastering a goal.

  2. Yo Darrah! I (obviously) just read my 1st betwixter entry… I love that: (1) It’s in English (Portuguese was a pretty difficult adjustment over the past week), and (2) It contains your wonderful, fervent touch … I, however, love New Year’s resolutions. To me, there’s something special about everyone in the world celebrating being in the same cosmic position year after year, and doing so with such introspection and enthusiasm, resulting in the collective setting of new goals (even though the gym gets a bit crowded in January)… I understand your position though – it seems way too common for folks to just talk the talk and merely imagine, instead of truly setting out to conquer their dreams… Happy 2010!

  3. I do have to admit that New Years resolutions can be short-lived if that is ALL anyone ever does. I do believe in meeting people where they are so if you have only been making New Years resolutions only to break them in February don’t let that be a reason to NOT make a resolution–just take smaller steps in your resolution.

    Break down your goals into manageable bites. If your goal is to run a marathon but you don’t even go out for walks you’ll have a much better chance of meeting that goal or at least landing somewhere in the vicinity (run a 10k) if you break it down to run/walk around the block once a day increasing the distance each day/week.

    Very true though, Betwixter. Resolutions will just be reasons to feel guilty if they are broken year after year. Making manageable goals and long-term changes in one’s life leads to real fulfillment.

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