Apparently it’s a poor idea to wait to get your wisdom teeth out until adulthood.  I always trusted my childhood dentist who told me that ‘I had room’ for them and wouldn’t need to get them out.  To me, that was great news!  No painful procedure to dig some teeth out that could fit into my apparently extra large jaw.

That was great news until my mid-twenties, when my new dentist continued to tell me that I should consider getting them out for fear of future complications caused by the difficulty of brushing that far back in one’s mouth.  I continued to put it off, echoing the words of my previous dentist, primarily because I don’t have dental insurance and thought this dentist might be trying to up-sell me, and secondarily, because I’d never been put under before and didn’t want to opt to do so out of free will.

Fast forward to my bi-annual dental check up in May of 2012.  This time I hear that I have a cavity on the one pesky widsom tooth who never fully grew in.  Doomsday.  I had no choice but to visit the oral surgeon.

I was noticeably nervous at the extraction consultation.  The thought of the large bill coupled with the surgery had me jittery.  He told me ‘If I were his daughter (cue him showing me a high school volleyball photo of his actual daughter), he’d recommend I get it out sooner rather than later.’ I knew he wasn’t try to up-sell me when he told me only to get the one out because when ‘over 25, potential complications are greater.’  I knew I could trust him at that point when he actually undersold me, and was certainly looking out for my best interest. (Don’t judge the constant sales paranoia: if you’re in sales, too, you get it.)

Again fast forward to last Friday when I’d filled my 5 (yes 5) prescriptions, one of which included Xanez to calm my nerves (as I said, I was clearly anxious at the consultation), and another of which was Oxycodone to knock me the hell out.  After a minor panic moment pre-surgery, I have hazy memories of that entire day.  Thanks to a thoughtful male nurse (also known as my loving boyfriend) who documented all of the beautiful, puffy moments with photos for us both to remember, I have evidence that the day occurred.

After a lot of sleeping, pain, and hazy memories, I thought I was in the clear come Saturday morning.  I spent several hours laughing at those who told me I’d be laid up for days, until the universe slapped me in the mouth and laid me out again…until Tuesday.  I seriously had to cancel all work engagements until today, Wednesday, 5 days later.

So, the purpose of this long-winded post is to warn all of you Betwixters to beware of the adult wisdom teeth removal.  There is only so much applesauce and jello one can stand for 5 days, as well as only so much swollen face one can look at in the mirror or throbbing pain one can feel.  I literally have never been happier to have a productive day of work emails and phone calls today.

You’ve been warned. Don’t make me say ‘I told you so’.