What do you want?

Why did I decide to take critical hours from my life that I could have been spending stalking you on facebook, watching American Idol, or napping? Because there are issues that seem to be recurring in conversations amongst my friends and peers. These topics I mentioned briefly in my first post (title), but they genuinely seem to be singular (or at least singular in the sense that we betwixters deal with them simutaneously) to this quarter-life stage. It’s a lot to handle. It’s easy to forgo one major area to focus on another more pressing one. Job is consuming your time, so your friends and/or significant other get the short end of the stick? Just suffered a break-up so you skip those GMAT practice-sessions? How can we really ‘have it all’? Or better yet- what do we really want? Start asking yourself these questions. If someone asked you, “are you self-aware?”, chances are you’d unquestioningly say ‘yes’. Real chances are (and there’s no scientific data I’m using to support this aside from my 26 years of interactions with other humans) at least half of you are not.

What are your skills? What are your passions? What do you want out of life? What’s your goal for today? Tomorrow? Next week? Year? Decade? Any idea?

I’m not here to make you feel badly. I do want to challenge you to push yourself, though. If these topics are of any interest to you, check out Now Discover Your Strengths which is a great practicum to evaluate your core abilities and help you decide how to make the most of them, not having to focus on your ‘weaknesses’. Or, Do What You Are which will give you a Myers-Briggs based breakdown of your personality type which may help nudge you to face some of the foundations to these questions. That is, if you’re able to be honest enough with yourself to extract the genuine you.
Perhaps you don’t care one way or the other. It’s you who truly fascinates me because I’m your standard type-A ‘doer’ who creates goals for years down the road. I know there’s value to a Thoreau-like state-of-mind. To look to today as the destination, not tomorrow. To find joy in this moment. Please tell me: is there any sort of rationalization between future planning (savings, buying a home, making a life-long commitment to a partner) and living for today? I know I struggle with living in the moment. Do any of you today livers struggle with long term commitments? Do you see any value in them?

I ask so pointedly because I want to learn with you here. My natural audience will likely see value in planning for the future, but I don’t intend to alienate those of you who could teach me, and us, from the other side of the fence.


  1. Thanks Annie! Please share your thoughts on the books with the Betwixter community once you’ve gotten into them a bit.

  2. Thanks D! I grabbed the resources you suggested (only cause it’s you) as we’re alike in the attempt at an efficient pursuit of the authentic life. So glad you’re doing this and looking forward to more…

  3. Thanks for the hint. It’s no mystery I’m technologically challenged. Links should be functional now.

    Good point, as well. I agree. Think about all the impressions you have of your frat brothers, for example, who now run companies and are doctors and lawyers…

  4. Like where this is going. (Links don’t work cause I think you are including the http so in order to make it work one has to delete it out of the address once it doesn’t find it)

    I think that peers may have a very different view of someone than they have of themselves because peers may only see one side of that person or see them in certain social settings or situations.

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